Jokes from the Net.
Compiled by Reu Glen S. Molato, Manggahan High School, Pasig City
IF
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without any resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
...Then You Are Probably The FAMILY DOG !
Kontrobersyal na Period
Sa isang Grade One class…
Teacher: Class ang lesson natin ay tungkol sa punctuation marks. Norma, sabihin
mo sa amin kung alin ang kakaiba at pinaka-exciting na punctuation mark.
Norma: Question mark po mam… Kakaiba ito at exciting dahil, dahil palaging
naghahanap ng kasagutan.
Teacher: Anjo, ikaw naman.
Anjo: Period po mam…
Teacher: (Puzzled) Period? Bakit?
Anjo: Kahapon po nag-away si Ate at Inay dahil sa period.
Teacher: Ano??? Ipaliwanag mo ngang mabuti kung bakit exciting and period?
Anjo: Na-miss daw po ni Ate ang period niya. ‘Yun lang, sinabunot-sabunutan niya si Ate at
maghapon na silang nag-away ni Inay. Maam, paano po ba nami-miss ang period?
Teacher: A che che.
Iron Man
A tall guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, "What happened to your ears?"
He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I accidentally answered the iron."
The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?"
He says, "Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!"
Knock-Knock
Ben – Knock-knock…
Boyet – Who’s there?
Ben – Indian
Boyet – Indian??? Indian who???
Ben – (To the tune of Gary Vs Di Na Natuto)
Indian ka na naman…. Tinutukso-tukso ang aking puso.
* * *
Boyet - Knock-knock…
Ben – Who’s there?
Boyet – Bisaya’t-Bumbay.
Ben – Meron ba nun?
Boyet – Siyempre naman.
Ben - Bisaya’t-Bumbay who???
Boyet – (Ala Rico J Puno’s Kapalaran) Bakit kaya may Bisaya’t-Bumbay, sa pag-ibig may bigo’t tagumpay…
* * *
Ben – Knock-knock…
Boyet – Who’s there?
Ben – Balut kayo.
Boyet – Baka naman Balut-Penoy ni Lola Celeste Legaspi?
Ben – Hindi, ah.
Boyet - Balut kayo, who?
Ben – (Mag-e-emote ala Anthony Castelo) Balut kayo lahat ang buhay sa mundo…
Akala mo hindi, ‘yun pala’y Beking totoo.
* * *
01 December 2014
Compiled by Reu Glen S. Molato, Manggahan High School, Pasig City
IF
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without any resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
...Then You Are Probably The FAMILY DOG !
Kontrobersyal na Period
Sa isang Grade One class…
Teacher: Class ang lesson natin ay tungkol sa punctuation marks. Norma, sabihin
mo sa amin kung alin ang kakaiba at pinaka-exciting na punctuation mark.
Norma: Question mark po mam… Kakaiba ito at exciting dahil, dahil palaging
naghahanap ng kasagutan.
Teacher: Anjo, ikaw naman.
Anjo: Period po mam…
Teacher: (Puzzled) Period? Bakit?
Anjo: Kahapon po nag-away si Ate at Inay dahil sa period.
Teacher: Ano??? Ipaliwanag mo ngang mabuti kung bakit exciting and period?
Anjo: Na-miss daw po ni Ate ang period niya. ‘Yun lang, sinabunot-sabunutan niya si Ate at
maghapon na silang nag-away ni Inay. Maam, paano po ba nami-miss ang period?
Teacher: A che che.
Iron Man
A tall guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, "What happened to your ears?"
He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I accidentally answered the iron."
The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?"
He says, "Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!"
Knock-Knock
Ben – Knock-knock…
Boyet – Who’s there?
Ben – Indian
Boyet – Indian??? Indian who???
Ben – (To the tune of Gary Vs Di Na Natuto)
Indian ka na naman…. Tinutukso-tukso ang aking puso.
* * *
Boyet - Knock-knock…
Ben – Who’s there?
Boyet – Bisaya’t-Bumbay.
Ben – Meron ba nun?
Boyet – Siyempre naman.
Ben - Bisaya’t-Bumbay who???
Boyet – (Ala Rico J Puno’s Kapalaran) Bakit kaya may Bisaya’t-Bumbay, sa pag-ibig may bigo’t tagumpay…
* * *
Ben – Knock-knock…
Boyet – Who’s there?
Ben – Balut kayo.
Boyet – Baka naman Balut-Penoy ni Lola Celeste Legaspi?
Ben – Hindi, ah.
Boyet - Balut kayo, who?
Ben – (Mag-e-emote ala Anthony Castelo) Balut kayo lahat ang buhay sa mundo…
Akala mo hindi, ‘yun pala’y Beking totoo.
* * *
01 December 2014